Million Dollar Question - When to Have the Autism Talk?

Chandni had bought a couple of clockwork bath toys, a frog and a turle that they called Ribbit and Shelley. It was much easier to wake Ria up for school, as she wanted to wind them up and race them.

While researching when to tell a child about autism, Chandni found herself again on Attwood’s site. His free resources included a questionnaire on friendship. Chandni found herself agreeing silently as she read his explanation of how autistic children from three to six years old think of friendship vis-à-vis how they think of it when they’re seven to nine years old.

When she was younger, Ria was more abrasive, and other children would sometimes get puzzled and ask why she was upset, or fighting. They would play among themselves then, excluding her, and Ria would cry.

Now, she had genuine friends, and played better with them and her twin. While going through Attwood’s questionnaire on scoring autistic children’s behaviour while playing, Chandni realized the knowingly torment part still needed to be worked on, as Ria would sometimes tease her twin.

Attwood talked about proper greeting of a friend, and Chandni remembered how Ria would visibly recall she is supposed to greet someone in the lift, and would say Hi and wave. Chandi would always praise Ria when she did so, to reinforce this behaviour.

Attwood has also created some cards for explaining autism to autistic children, and Chandni saw a sample, and thought it would be useful. However, it was quite expensive – Rs.5000.

A lack of empathy is often seen in autistic children, and Chandni would often ask Ria how she would feel if the tables were turned. Ria would always respond with an empathic no, so Chandni would hope Ria would translate that in behaviour.

Autistics can also be literal – and Ria would say things like ‘my grandfather is dead,’ and we would try to tell her to use softer phrases. Ria would see little point in doing that, arguing that she was being factual, but comply at least.

Other interesting autism books Chandni came across on the internet including Aspergirls and the Autism Parents Club. Aspergirls talked about how bullying was a reality for girls, but Chandni thought that perhaps Indian schools, which were more regimented, would be safer.

Autism Parents Club was a collection of essays from parents with autistic children, and Chandni signed up for their online parents club as well.

When Chandni met Ria’s second grade teacher at the first Parent Teacher Meeting, she discovered Ria had been disrespectful to the teacher when she had tried to tell her to wait and see what she was writing on the board, before doing the work.

She suggested Chandni opt for yogo for Ria in the Co Curricular Activity, but Ria was fond of mime. Chandni resolved to warn Ria that she might have to change her CCA activity if she did not behave well in class.

To be continued...

This post is a part of Blogchatter A2Z.