Doing Leads to Habits

The school called Chandni, and she asked them to let Ria’s tantrum play itself out. The principal understood, saying they should not fuel the tantrum by giving in to her demand. However, they soon called again, saying the other children were getting disturbed.

By the time Chandni reached school, she had calmed down. Chandni got the playdough home, and the school asked her not to give Ria anything when it was time for school.

Chandni continued to be in touch with her relative, who worked with ASD children. She sent her material from a book, to improve eye contact. For instance, Chandni used a pencil and directed Ria to follow its path with her eyes. When Ria did so, she got candy.

After Ria was used to this, Chandni changed it to Ria having to look at her when she spoke. Again, she would give her candy if she listened. Gradually, she faded out the reinforcer after its job was done.

Brain Gym exercises were also beneficial, as they help ASD children with bi-directional exercises. While bathing Ria, Chandni still asks her to put soap with one hand and then the other, so that botht he left and right sides of her brain are being used.

Ria was a bit rigid. She wanted routine and would get anxious if Chandni didn’t share a plan for the weekend. Dr. Kadam suggested having a change card, to prepare her for changes. Chandni gave a chocolate if Ria went along with the change willingly, like eating dinner out and them reaching late because of traffic.

Chandni initially felt depressed and angry after the diagnosis. However, she joined WhatsApp groups where ASD children’s mothers swapped stories about what worked to calm their children, etc.

She also read everything she could find about autism – handbooks Dr. Kadam recommended, memoirs, and films. Although she was a writer, somehow for many years she was unable to write about her daughter’s autism.

Chandni had read The Curious Incident of the Dog in Night Time, a children’s book, when she was a child. The narrator in it was autistic. Little did she know that one day, she would encounter autism again. However, the narrator had strengths and his way of thinking differed from others, which led him to solving the mystery. Chandni often recalled this and felt comforted.

Chandni used to be a content writer, and got some freelance work, which helped take her mind off mothering Ria. Now that she was in school, Chandni did have some time for herself, although it mostly went in preparing material similar to what the speech therapist had used in her latest session, so that Chandni could help Ria practice the concept at home.

In the middle, Ria’s tantrums increased greatly. The speech therapist asked Chandni to keep an excel for a week of the trigger for the tantrum, the behaviour, and the consequences. While documenting these, Chandni realized that they usually gave in to Ria when she had a tantrum.

To be continued...

This post is a part of Blogchatter A2Z.